


let me in and hold me close

by moonchild2593



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff, Pepper Potts Needs a Hug, Post-Civil War (Marvel), Pre-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Pre-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), Swearing, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 07:16:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 983
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19740829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moonchild2593/pseuds/moonchild2593
Summary: The light is dimmed in the room, Pepper stands there, barely dressed, and looks so absolutely lost and heartbroken that Tony can't stop a wave from selfloathing to curse through his body.





	let me in and hold me close

Tony was standing by the window, looking out over the city that he used to love so deeply and now felt indifferent over. He heard her come into the livingroom, but couldn't bring himself to move or to even acknowledge the fact that she was there. He could basically feel the hurt radiating off of her.

She had pleaded with him earlier when they were laying in bed but he just couldn't talk about any of it. Because saying it out loud made it REAL and he wasn't ready to accept that what was supposed to be a battle of wills turned into something almost deadly. That he lost his friends, his family. That Rhodey lost his legs, because of him, and that Rogers just left him there to fucking die. That he had brought a fucking child to a battlefield just so he could ..could what? Make them listen? Win?

So instead of talking about it, he had just left their bed, leaving Pepper naked and lonely, he himself feeling like the biggest asshole on the entire fucking planet. He was absolutely sure that if he told Pepper about any of it he wouldn't be able to stop talking, to stop crying. He'd be weak in her eyes and that is something that just wouldn't do, not right now. 

He hated this. Not just everything that happened in Germany and in Siberia, but what he was doing to Pepper right now. He loved her, _god_ he really did, so what was wrong with him that he left their bed right after Sex, leaving her feeling like a prostitute, just so that he didn't have to talk? He fucking hated himself for it. All of it.

"I don't know how much longer I can do this" Pepper whispered. She sounded hurt, but her voice was steady. So she hadn't cried yet.

"You came back here weeks ago, Tony" she continued, "and you just told me that there was some fallout and you didn't want to talk about it. You got out of that plane bloody and broken, and you won't tell me what fucking happened!" Tony cringed at that. Pepper never, ever swore. But he didn't react, still didn't turn around.

"I know as much as the public, Tony, as much as the fucking media. Because you won't let me back in." Her voice broke on the last word, but Tony still couldn't hear her crying. He was pretty sure that she was more angry than anything else right now.

"You're ignoring me, you barely look at me, you barely even touch me. You've been wasted half the time, and I just.. I can't do this anymore." Tony still didn't -couldn't- move, he was afraid that If he looked at her now, all his carefully built walls would come crumbling down. So he just stood there, dressed in nothing but the briefs he had put on when he left their bed.

"You don't talk, you don't laugh, you don't do anything. You're hurting and you're shutting me out, and won't let me fucking help, Tony! This..we're supposed to be a god damn team. Us against the rest of the world, remember?" Pepper sounds desperate now and he fucking hates himself for it even more. Because even if he did turn around now, how would he make all her hurting, all her tears okay again? So he doesn't do anything.

"Okay." She inhales. "Okay. I can't.. I really can't do this anymore." when she finally starts crying, she sounds like she is grieving.

Tony suddenly realizes that Pepper wasn't talking about this onesided discussion, but about their relationship. About..about him in general. Panick floods his body and he turns around to look at her. The light is dimmed in the room, Pepper stands there, barely dressed, and looks so absolutely lost and heartbroken that Tony can't stop a wave from selfloathing to curse through his body. God, he loved that woman more than he ever thought possible.

"Please. Please, No." He whispers. "You can't" he breathes out heavily "please, Pepper. Don't give up on me yet." He makes a small step forward, and apparently that's all it takes because Pepper is in his arms faster than he thought humanly possible.

When he feels her sobbing into his chest he can't stop his tears either and he doesn't know how long they stay like that, but by the time he eases both of them onto the couch, the sun is beginning to rise. He is exhausted and he can tell she is too, but neither of them is thinking of sleep right now. Because once he began talking, he found that he couldn't stop. Pepper doesn't Interrupt him, not once. She just listens while she trails her fingers over his hand, the one laying on her leg. Instead of hurt, like earlier, he can feel relieve radiating off of her. Or maybe he is imagining that, because that is not one of the emotions displayed in her eyes- those range from confusion over annoyance to anger and back most of the time.

When he is done talking, for now, she leans forward to kiss him. A kiss that is so different from all the intimicy they shared since he got back home that it makes his whole body tingle and relax.

"We'll get through this together, you know" she cups his face while she speaks and he finds himself leaning into the touch. Now that it was all out there he doesn't understand why he didn't talk to her earlier.

"Us against the rest of the world" he whispers while he presses his forehead against hers. It's not like everything is okay, now, and it probably won't ever be okay again, but Pepper makes everything better. Always has. And for the first time in weeks and weeks he hates himself a little less.


End file.
